I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
Monday, August 6, 2007
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Annoying Things To Do On An Elevator
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Thursday, July 26, 2007
1ooɔ doooooɹʇ
ıɥıɥ ¡ɐs 1ooʞ ɐd ɔ ¡ (: ¡ǝdɐʇ uoʞ ǝɔ ʇnoʇ sɹǝʌuǝ,1 ɐ ɹǝuɹnoʇ ɐ ǝʌıɹɹɐ uo 1ǝnbǝ1 ɹns ǝʇıs un ʇɹǝʌnoɔép ıɐ,ظ ¡ɐɥɐɥ ¡ɐs ɹǝɹɟɟıɥɔép ǝp zǝʎɐssǝ
La classe hein! ^^
ʞɔı1ɔ
La classe hein! ^^
ʞɔı1ɔ
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Ask a silly question
I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Pal at Big W and standing inline at the check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Pal Diet again although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Pal nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.
Stupid b*tch...why else would I buy dog food??
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Pal Diet again although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Pal nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.
Stupid b*tch...why else would I buy dog food??
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Friday, July 13, 2007
Human Tetris
Decidément, cette semaine c'est la semaine des vidéos.. Voici un jeu sur lequel je suis tombé complètement par "hasard". Ne vous étonnez pas s'il vous arrive de voir cette émission remixé et apparaitre sur le cable. Je vous laisse plutôt apprécier.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Monday, July 9, 2007
This is SPARTAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
Une ptite video simpa pour bien commencer la semaine. On appele sa du "Speed-Painting". O faite, ya du speed-painting et aussi de l'animation dans la video. Le reste se prive de commentaires...
Ceux qui n'ont pas eu l'occasion de regarder ce film.. et ben ils en ont raT des choses! :/
Ceux qui n'ont pas eu l'occasion de regarder ce film.. et ben ils en ont raT des choses! :/
Saturday, July 7, 2007
La cave magique
Ce site là est tout simplement "I-N-C-R-O-Y-A-B-L-E".
Allez faire un tour çi-dessous. Le seul truc que je peux vous dire c'est:
"Qui a dit que la magie n'existait pas?"
La cave magique!!
Allez faire un tour çi-dessous. Le seul truc que je peux vous dire c'est:
"Qui a dit que la magie n'existait pas?"
La cave magique!!
The Englishman And The Frenchy
An Englishman is having breakfast one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The Englishman ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.
Frenchman: "You English folk eat the whole bread??"
Englishman (in a bad mood): "Of course."
Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to Britain." The Frenchman has a smirk on his face.
The Englishman listens in silence.
The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jam with the bread??"
Englishman: "Of Course."
Frenchman: (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling).
"We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to Britain."
After a moment of silence, The Englishman then asks: "Do you have sex in France?"
Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk.
Englishman: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"
Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course."
Englishman: "We don't. In Britain, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into
bubble-gum and sell them to France." ^^
The Final Exam
At Duke University, there were four sophomores taking Organic Chemistry. They did so well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs, etc., that each had an "A" so far for the semester. These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to the University of Virginia and party with some friends there. They had a great time - however, after all the hardy-partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor after the final and explain to him why they missed it.
They explained that they had gone to UVA for the weekend with the plan to come back in time to study, but, unfortunately, they had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a long time. As a result, they missed the final.
The professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up the final the following day. The guys were elated and relieved. They studied that night and went in the next day at the time the professor had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin.
They looked at the first problem, worth five points. It was something simple about free radical formation.
"Cool," they thought at the same time, each one in his separate room, "this is going to be easy." Each finished the problem and then turned the page.
On the second page was written:
(For 95 points): Which tire?
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Proof that girls are EVIL! ^^
Pour faire suite à "La différence entre l'homme et la femme"... Voila une petite equation qui mèrite qu'on médite dessus.. ^^
Sans rancune hein les filles! lol
Sans rancune hein les filles! lol
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Monday, July 2, 2007
Connie - Somewhere over the rainbow
Un petit peu de douceur dans ce monde de brute...
.... no comment ....
.... no comment ....
The apple II video clip
Ce clip a été créér a partir de la seconde machine d'apple.. enfin d'après ce que j'ai compris.
Tout simplement.. magnifique...
Je vous conseille de laisser la vidéo se charger complètement avant de le regarder.
Euh... ya-t-il un volontaire pour faire sa sur le command prompt de windows? lol
Tout simplement.. magnifique...
Je vous conseille de laisser la vidéo se charger complètement avant de le regarder.
Euh... ya-t-il un volontaire pour faire sa sur le command prompt de windows? lol
Spiderman a de la concurrence ^^
Je suis devenu accro a ce jeu la.. et tout le monde chez moi y joue!! :)
Mon record perso est de : 254 yards.. laissez vos scores dan les commentaires!
Cliquez ici!! si vous voulez jouer en "full screen"
"
Cliquez ici!! si vous voulez jouer en "full screen"
Mon record perso est de : 254 yards.. laissez vos scores dan les commentaires!
Cliquez ici!! si vous voulez jouer en "full screen"
"
Cliquez ici!! si vous voulez jouer en "full screen"
Sunday, July 1, 2007
... Let's fly ...
Mettez une petite musique douce si possible sur votre pc...
Fermez vos yeux pendant cinq secondes (allez un ptit effort)...
Faites le vide.. et laissez vous porter...
Il n'existe aucun commentaire qui puisse accompagner les images que vous allez voir... du moins moi je ne les ai pas trouV.
Le noir n'a jamais ete aussi noir... et aussi beau...
Fermez vos yeux pendant cinq secondes (allez un ptit effort)...
Faites le vide.. et laissez vous porter...
Il n'existe aucun commentaire qui puisse accompagner les images que vous allez voir... du moins moi je ne les ai pas trouV.
Le noir n'a jamais ete aussi noir... et aussi beau...
New day, nouvelle vie... nouvo depar!
Et voila, un nouveau blog.. Apres deux essais de blogs et un essai d'un site internet qui se sont tous mal termine.., me revoila tenT par un nouvo blog.
Mais keski me pousse pour vouloir bien perdre mon temps kom sa hein? ... en voila une kestion dont je cherche encore et encore la reponse.
Peut-etre le besoin de s'exprimer... peut-etre le besoin d'un challenge quotidien... peut-etre, peut-etre..
Enfin passons...
Yaura sur ce site, kelke trucs simpas, retirer directement du net... donc si vraiment zot pna role... mo pu essaye fer zot gagne 1 role... du moins mo pu essayer ! lol
Bon, treve de bavardage.. attachez-vos ceintures, boire zot avomine (hahaha)... Je vais vous emmener dans des coins bien cachee (malheureusement) du net.. et dont vous ne pourrez plus vous en passer...
Sur ce... "Let's roll!!"
Mais keski me pousse pour vouloir bien perdre mon temps kom sa hein? ... en voila une kestion dont je cherche encore et encore la reponse.
Peut-etre le besoin de s'exprimer... peut-etre le besoin d'un challenge quotidien... peut-etre, peut-etre..
Enfin passons...
Yaura sur ce site, kelke trucs simpas, retirer directement du net... donc si vraiment zot pna role... mo pu essaye fer zot gagne 1 role... du moins mo pu essayer ! lol
Bon, treve de bavardage.. attachez-vos ceintures, boire zot avomine (hahaha)... Je vais vous emmener dans des coins bien cachee (malheureusement) du net.. et dont vous ne pourrez plus vous en passer...
Sur ce... "Let's roll!!"
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